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Lacuna

The stench of my decomposing heart 
Permeates my being, polluting my soul with 
Unwanted memories 
War flashbacks from life lived in delusions 
Of a grand love, the varicose veins of a long dead 
heart injected with your damned lies
Each breath whip-lashing against the 
hollowness that has settled in my chest 

I ruffle frantically every morning
Through my kitchen cabinet, looking for 
A Knife with the broken handle that can cut through 
my skin, its Poisonous steel entering my veins, 
Draining me of blood, clogging my heart with rust
Clearing out ancient betrayals – both yours and mine-
weaving maps out of scars,  tracing incomprehensible words 

You, who used to tear off your silk dupattas
To tie them in my name,
At the shrines of unknown saints 
Now turn away from me 
Even in my dreams,
While maggots feed on my memory of you, 
One kiss at a time, till nothing is left, 
But an empty grave 
Rotting in the cloistered heart of 
My being 


--

 TZ

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